By Kait Cummins, Paediatric OT & Founder of The Play Projects

Some mornings, it feels like you’ve already lived an entire day by 9am.

The breakfast is half-eaten.
The shoes are missing.
One child is melting down about socks.
You’re trying to answer emails, pour cereal, and stay calm — but inside?
It’s chaos.

And in those moments, maybe you wonder, “Why does everything feel so hard lately?”

It’s not just in your head. It’s in your nervous system.

You don’t have to be yelling to be dysregulated.
In fact, many of us go through the entire day appearing calm… while our nervous system is running in overdrive.

I call these mini flips.

They’re not big meltdowns. They’re not outbursts.
They’re the small stress spikes that happen when we’re asked to keep going, and coping, and showing up — without a chance to reset.

What do mini flips look like in real life?

• You snap over something small and immediately feel guilty

• You feel like you’re holding your breath, without realising it

• Your body feels heavy or tense, even when you’re sitting still

• You walk into a room and forget why you’re there

• You want quiet, but can’t find it

• You feel touched out, talked out, and just… over it

Why does this happen?

Your nervous system is designed to protect you.
It’s always scanning for signals of safety or stress.

And in many homes — especially with young children or sensory needs in the mix — the environment can feel constantly alerting:

• Loud noises

• Constant interruptions

• Multitasking

• Emotional load

• Mental load

• Being needed all day long

Your brain and body don’t always know the difference between a real threat and a fast-paced, overstimulating environment.
So they stay in that “go-mode.”

And that’s exhausting.

How does this affect your child?

Here’s the part that really matters — and the part I say gently, without guilt:
Your child’s nervous system is watching yours.

Children co-regulate.
That means they don’t just learn to calm down because we tell them how.
They learn because they feel it in us.

When we’re dysregulated — even silently — they feel it in our tone, our pace, our energy.
When we’re regulated, they sense safety — and their own body begins to settle.

This is not about being calm all the time.
It’s about understanding your own state so you can lead with awareness and compassion, for yourself and for them.

So what can help  when you don’t have extra time?

You don’t need to do more.
You don’t need to “fix” yourself.

But if you’d like to support your nervous system in gentle, doable ways, here are some places to start:

1. Move your body with weight or purpose

This is known as heavy work — and it’s incredibly regulating.

Try:

• Pushing a pram, trolley, or laundry basket

• Carrying groceries with awareness

• Digging in the garden

• Doing a few wall push-ups while waiting for the kettle

These movements activate your proprioceptive system, helping your brain feel where your body is in space — which sends a calming signal to your nervous system.

2. Stack a calm habit onto something you already do

This is called habit stacking, and it works beautifully for busy parents.

Try:

• A deep exhale while the toast cooks

• Rolling your shoulders before opening the fridge

• Touching something cold (like the sink tap) when you feel overloaded

• Three slow breaths when the car is in park

These small moments add up. They signal safety to the nervous system — even if nothing else changes.

3. Name what’s happening

Language helps the thinking part of your brain come online.

Try saying (even to yourself):

• “I feel overwhelmed.”

• “This is a lot.”

• “I’m safe. I can slow down.”

You don’t need to solve it.
Just naming what’s real is a powerful step toward regulation.

4. Step outside, even briefly

Nature helps calm our nervous system.

Stand on the grass.
Look at something far away.
Take in the sounds, the smells, the stillness.

Even two minutes of outside time can shift your state.

You don’t have to do this perfectly.

Some days will still be messy.
Some mornings will still feel like too much.

But your awareness matters.
Your small shifts matter.
And you matter.

You deserve to feel supported, not just as a parent — but as a human with a nervous system of your own.

At The Play Projects, we talk a lot about children’s regulation.
But we will always come back to this: you can’t co-regulate with a child if your own nervous system is overwhelmed.

You are the foundation.
Not because you have to be perfect — but because your presence, your body, your rhythm matters.

And we’re here to support you in that, gently and consistently, every step of the way.

Looking for more support?
You can connect with your key worker, book a parent session, or simply come back to this blog when you need a reminder that your wellbeing matters too.

You’re doing a brave thing — showing up, even when it’s hard.
We see you. And we’re with you.

— Kait