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Did you know that as well as developmental milestones, there are milestones in attachment and bonding applicable to all stages of your child’s life?

While we may traditionally consider attachment and bonding as something only considered in newborn life, it actually follows the child’s path of upbringing, from birth to adolescence.

Something you may not know is that checking for attachment and bonding comes from both the child’s behaviour and the parent’s actions.

Below are a few strategies parents and carers can try at home to improve their child’s ability to bond and attach –  at all ages and stages.

• If you want your baby to be easily comforted, you may try demonstrating the ability and willingness to comfort them
• If you want your baby to exhibit age-appropriate motor development, you may try showing interest in and encouraging activities to support this
• If you want your toddler to look at people when communicating, you may try modelling this behaviour
• If you want your toddler to show emotions in a recognisable manner, you may try being aware of and reactive to your child’s cues
• If you want your school-aged child to share with others, you may try providing opportunities for your child to spend time with their peers
• If you want your school-aged child to try new tasks, you may try modelling a mistake making and learning culture
• If you want your adolescent engaging in positive peer interactions, you may try showing an interest in and acceptance of their friends
• If you want your adolescent performing satisfactorily at school, you may try demonstrating involvement and interest in the school community

If you feel concerned about the way your baby/child/adolescent interacts with the world around them, please do not hesitate to seek professional assistance.

Developmental trauma involves multiple occurrences over a period of time, bringing on an intense amount of stress to the mind and body of a child. It can seriously impact a young person’s brain development, health and wellbeing.

In comparison to those who have not, young people who have experienced trauma will exhibit different behaviours, ways of doing and saying things, ways of relating to people and ways of coping with stress. They may demonstrate difficulty in managing stress, a lack of empathy, have low impulse control, exhibit escalated anger responses, and/or over-eat or hoard food.

The impacts of trauma on a young person’s development can be seen through a lack of motor coordination, difficulty understanding and expressing language, misinterpretation of social cues and difficulty interacting with peers, cognitive difficulties including concentration and retention.

PARENTING A YOUNG PERSON WITH A TRAUMA BACKGROUND

As we recommend with any child, maintain a consistent home-life. Children are more settled and calmer if they know what to expect in their daily routine. Try to keep the main sections of the day (meal times, bedtime routines, etc) as consistent as you can and discuss changes to plans prior to introducing them.

Invite your child to be physically close to you, rather than sending them to “time-out”. If your child is stressed and scared, bringing them close to you will help them feel safe and secure. You can help them think through and discuss their actions and choices.

Support your child to articulate their feelings by describing and naming what you see; “I can see by you are frustrated with this toy, I’ll help you choose another one.”

Parent according to your child’s emotional age. If they are feeling stressed or fearful, they may regress to a younger age. It will be easier to soothe them if you meet them where they are emotionally, at that moment eg: your emotional 10-year-old could still benefit from sitting on your lap for a cuddle in that moment

Finally, have realistic expectations. Your child may have some significant hurdles to overcome which may take time. Even if some days feel like you’re not making any progress, remember to celebrate the success you do achieve.

With term 4 approaching, in addition to the way life has been for our little ones this year, the prospect of returning to school may cause your child/ren to feel some anxiety.

Here are some ways you can react positively to times your child is experiencing a challenging emotion.

A child may exhibit the following behaviours if experiencing stress:

• Avoidance of day-to-day interactions
• Avoidance of sensory activities
• Becoming over excited
• Appearing to ‘zone out’ or not be listening
• Exhibiting behaviours that cause others to become stressed
• Engaging in soothing behaviours

What you can do and say:

• Be aware of your own stress levels before responding to your child/ren
• Try to see beyond the behaviours and understand what the child might be feeling but is unable to tell you
• Be consistent, predictable and repetitive eg: have the same meal time and bed time each day and have the same routine, like reading a book before bed
• Spend time together discussing their feelings and emotions rather than sending your child/ren to time out eg: “I can see you’re having a rough time, how about you come sit next to me.” Or “You look sad today, I can tell because you have tears in your eyes.”
• Model and explain your stress management techniques eg: “I’m feeling a bit worried so I’m going to sit quietly and take 10 deep breaths.”

There are many effective resources available to help ease the transition and to help children to understand and manage their “big feelings”.

Join our 6 week intensive program to support school readiness. The Program will run one morning per week from late October to early December with a focus on getting our bodies ready for learning. This will include developing strength and endurance, pre writing skills, supporting attention and engagement, waiting, turn taking, sharing and early literacy.

The program has been developed by OT’s with a focus on optimising the learning environment. Hence, there will only be a small number of children in the group, so that each child receives the 1:1 coaching they need to achieve their goals. Parent Education, home resources and a report for school are included in the program.

The program will run one morning per week for 2.5 hours.

To find out more please give us a call on 0439485500 or email [email protected]

HOME BASED READY FOR SCHOOL PROGRAM

If you are unable to complete our face to face program. We are offering a home based version of this program including all the resources you need to support your child at home. Please contact the office to discuss.

Creating a routine when working and learning from home can be really helpful in keeping everyone feeling happy and calm throughout the day.

Something a simple as walking the dog, running around the block, doing some cosmic kids yoga or getting the music on and having a dance to go noodle can help everyones day run more smoothly.

Check out 5 evidenced based benefits of exercise below:

1)    INCREASED ENERGY – You may wonder how exercise can boost energy when you’re using energy to workout. Here’s the thing, exercising is heart healthy. It gets the blood pumping and increases the flow of oxygen to the brain and throughout the body which encourages energy production.

2) MORE FOCUS FOR HOME LEARNING – Increased blood flow and oxygen to the brain also make you feel more alert and focused. Spending a few minutes in the morning getting their heart rate up, kids can improve their ability to concentrate and comprehend the lessons throughout the day.

3) BOOSTED METABOLISM – Metabolism refers to the process our body uses when converting the food we consume into energy. Exercise has been proven to increase metabolism and boost the amount of calories burned, even when your body is resting. The effects exercise has on your metabolism last longer than the time spent exercising. This means, vigorous exercise can keep your metabolism functioning at a high rate for hours after you have stopped moving.

4) BOOST IN MOOD – When you exercise, your brain releases 4 chemicals: endorphins, adrenaline, serotonin and dopamine. Endorphins are sometimes referred to as the “feel good” chemicals of the brain. This is because your brain releases them to protect you from feeling pain when it thinks your body is under stress (eg. when you exercise). So if you are wondering does physical activity improve behaviour, it very well can. When kids spend time getting their adrenaline pumping in the morning, their brains will release more endorphins and create that “feel good” feeling throughout the day. The more often you exercise, the more long term benefits you will see.

5) BETTER SLEEP – Research has proven that exercise does improve the quality of sleep. Researchers are not quite sure how the process works, but they do know that moderate exercise increases the amount of deep sleep you get. This is the sleep stage where your body and brain get a power up. This means your child will wake up feeling rejuvenated and ready to take on the day.

For more information on creating a routine at your home check out our online learning programs or our How to have happier mornings blog.

Download our FREE Daily routine template HERE

Starting chores early with your child sets them up for success in life. By creating specific roles and setting expectations of children at an early age, you are creating important healthy habits that can have many significant benefits now and into the future.

Whilst it’s very possible that your kids won’t do the task as well as you will and, in many cases, it would be easier to just do the chore yourself, the quality of the work is not the point. The advantages of a child being given responsibilities around the house are plentiful.

• Giving a child responsibility makes the child feel valued and important which fosters feelings of improved self esteem and self worth. A child will develop confidence and competence as they learn how to complete tasks.
• Children become more independent when they learn new skills. Some skills learned in childhood are those they maintain for life. If a child has been given chores throughout their childhood you can trust that when they eventually leave the nest, they will know how to clean the bathroom, do laundry and cook safely.
• Creating expectations and applying time frames builds self discipline as children learn to step out of their comfort zone. Chores may not be a child’s first idea of fun, but it is a life skill to learn to do things when required as a responsibility, rather than a choice. Having the discipline to sit with discomfort is an important skill for achieving success as an adult.
• Chores are hands-on and therefore great for keeping kids active and supporting motor skill development.
• Learning how to work with others is a complex and important skill. Chores often require cooperation which is valuable for developing effective relationships with peers, teachers and colleagues.

STEPS FOR SUCCESS

Its important that you are consistent and although the level of your expectations will change over time, it’s essential that fundamentals remain the same. Here are some tips to stay on track:

• Don’t assume that your child knows how to do a task correctly. Show them first, spend some time doing it with them and revisit the task regularly to improve the quality.
• Set a daily/weekly schedule to show them where the chores can fit in their busy week. Letting them off the hook because they have a lot of homework or sporting commitments sends the wrong message, it’s better to show them how to manage their time and duties effectively.
• Sticker charts are effective in the beginning, but don’t need to be used forever. Just like toileting and sleeping charts, chore charts should be used to help instil a habit. After a month or so, you (and your child) will become bored of the sticker system but if implemented correctly the chores will have become part of your routine. If you’re using rewards, including pocket money, free time, etc., these can continue without the need for instant gratification with a sticker.
• If you are sick, on holidays or are faced with other challenges, it is ok to adjust the level of your expectations. However, it is important to retain some elements of consistency. For example; if your child is sick, rather than giving them an out from their chores, offer instead to help them. This in itself teaches a valuable lesson about the benefits of helping others.

If you’re looking for more ideas around supporting your child in developing healthy habits at home, our online OT at Home course may be helpful to you.

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